When Valerie Imparato found out she was pregnant in July of 2020, she was only a day away to fly abroad to Europe. “I bought a bunch of pregnancy books,” she said. “I’m glad, great.” He and his wife, who is an Italian, arrived safely in Italy to visit his family. It was there that Imparato learned, a few weeks later, that he had fallen early. Her new exhibit “The Road to Zoe” at Washington Street Art’s Gallery 321 in Somerville documents her journey from that moment – the moment she found out she was no longer pregnant. – at the birth of her daughter Zoe.
“It was very difficult for me,” Imparato, who is an actor and lawyer, recalls of his acquisition in 2020. Not only has the Somerville-based overseas been creative with a language barrier, he is also absent from his close family and friends. When she sought medical care for her miscarriage, she encountered barriers that many Blacks face when seeking maternal health care. “Italy is a wonderful and beautiful place, but it has issues with racism,” he said. “It was hard enough for Black women in the medical system but those experiences made it worse.”
After taking the time to process his abortion in a “dark room under the blanket,” Imparato felt he needed to archive his experiences somehow. Her first mini-series “I’m pregnant, and now not anymore” was a “reflection of what I was in weeks,” she said. “I just want to be a shell, I want to be alone.”
Mixed-media triptychs show actual Imparato ultrasounds, with thread embroidery. “I don’t know what my uterus looks like,” she admits. “I feel like a lot of people don’t do that until they get an ultrasound.” The black and white photos show the development of her early pregnancy, which she affectionately called her “particle,” in her empty womb a few weeks later. He said the triptych speaks specifically to the high medical side of miscarriage. “You weren’t just miscarried after that. Doctors took thousands of pictures of my uterus, there were all kinds of tests and imaging going on.
In the months after her miscarriage, Imparato struggled with so many conflicting emotions about her body and motherhood. “I was angry with my own body, like I failed in a way.” The ongoing stigma and misinformation surrounding miscarriage can make women feel like they are at fault when the pregnancy doesn’t reach full term, Imparato says. Comments from well-meaning people after her miscarriage emphasized some of those feelings for her. “The hard part about getting pregnant early is feeling invalid because you never had a belly, you never got pregnant in public,” she pointed out. “And it seems like this thing that’s really intimate, that is between you and an undefined creature, it’s gone.”
While much of “The Road to Zoe” grapples with loss and despair and even with the body dysmorphia that accompanies miscarriage, it also records the (somewhat faint) joy she felt when she found out she was pregnant again. in 2021. In his piece “Am I Shining ?,” Imparato looks seriously in the mirror, still hopeless and almost hesitant as he endures the so-called “two-week wait.” “Essentially, this is the time it will take from you having sex until you can take a test and confirm that you are pregnant,” Imparato said. “It’s literally hell, it’s purgatory.”
But after those two weeks, Imparato confirmed that she was indeed pregnant. The rest of the exhibit is photos showing that process, from her early pregnancy to a more abstract rendering. called “The Container,” in which she boasts a pregnant belly but her face is blurry beyond recognition. “It’s hard to be pregnant,” she admits with a laugh. , as myself. I feel like I’m just an exchangeable vessel. “
In a world after Roe, pregnancy and motherhood became battlefields for religious and political debates. But that doesn’t change the fact that choosing to give birth to a child is a very personal one. In some cases, childbirth can be fatal, as Imparato found out when she finally gave birth to her daughter. “I was about to die,” he said. “It was traumatic. I had hemorrhaging and liver and kidney failure.” And for Black pregnant women, the higher rate of preeclampsia and other medical conditions can make the whole process certain. “I chose it,” Imparato continued. “For me, to think that anyone could be forced into this really intense and potentially dangerous process is frightening.”
“The Road to Zoe” not only documents the growth of Imparato and her daughter, it shows an expansion in her artistic skills. “Most of my other work was done with the idea that I would show it at some point and was done to illustrate a message,” he said. “But it was and has been and is for me. I’m doing it just to live in this time of my life. “
Even though “Road to Zoe” has been long, Imparato can’t think of any place he wants to go. The last piece in the exhibit titled “You and Me” fully reflects the emotion. In it, Imparato holds a wide -eyed Zoe, both gazes focused directly on the viewer. “Based on a photo. And in it, she’s almost looking like she can’t believe we’re here, she can’t seem to believe we’ve reached this far, “Imparato says.” And in that moment, I felt so grateful that we were ay here. That we really did. ”
Valerie Imparato’s exhibition “The Road to Zoe” will be on display at Washington Street Art’s Gallery 321 through Aug. 13.
